


Only What We Could Carry

by kreite



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Can you tell?, F/M, I'm still salty, Meetra is a dumb name, Multi, Revan knew what she was doing, The Exile's name is Suri, You can't change my mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kreite/pseuds/kreite
Summary: Fifty sentences set in an alternate universe where Revan Malak and the one who would become The Jedi Exile were closer.Inspired by Draw A Straight Linehttps://archiveofourown.org/works/660774
Relationships: Alek | Darth Malak & Revan, Alek | Darth Malak & The Jedi Exile, Alek | Darth Malak/The Jedi Exile/Revan, The Jedi Exile & Revan
Kudos: 13





	Only What We Could Carry

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Draw a Straight Line](https://archiveofourown.org/works/660774) by [nymja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymja/pseuds/nymja). 



**Propose**

When Suri’s closest friends ask them to war, it’s packaged with the implication that they’ll bring as many people with them as possible; they meet Revan’s eyes, exchanging two distinct forms of resolve.

**Beseech**

They cut Sion into pieces, they drop columns of rock on him, they parry and strike and snap and push him into his minions, desperately trying to stop him looking at them like they’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

**Aloof**

Alek explains it’s not that Revan’s literally smarter than everyone else at the academy, it’s just that she makes it seem that way. 

**Sentence**

One decides that she will be the one to make sure that all the fighting they’ve done hasn’t been in vain, one follows her as he always has and the last turns to face down the consequences that would follow them into the dark. 

**Bright**

Alek and Suri jump a little the first time they see a lighsaber ignite, Revan doesn’t even flinch.

**Rain**

General Suri will always remember when the sodden hills of the Dxun jungle started churning out carbonated body parts 

**Trite**

“As ‘amusing’ as I do in fact find It, apprentice, we can’t actually bomb every resisting world back to the stone age.”

**Cumbersome**

Darth Malak lays his hand on the collar exactly once, feeling the way the tubes dig and drive along the roof of his mouth and down his throat makes his eyes water, even as every surgeon in the room contorts and screams in his grip. 

**Overtake**

Despite both of them denying it, Revan and Suri are in fact having a, ‘who-has-the-most-friends’ competition, what they don’t realise at all is they’re also having a ‘who-can-keep-Alek’s-attention-the-longest’ competition as well.

**Shivering**

They refuse to release the breath they took before ordering the Generator’s use, even as they curl and whine away from the touch of their shellshocked crew.

**Unique**

Revan doesn’t know every step of the journey that ended with her heart a shell, Malak a thug and Suri a shadow but when they announce that they won’t be accompanying her into dark space and Alek draws his lightsabre she knows that she finally has the means to show the jedi the true depth of their failure.

**Touch**

Alek doesn’t try to parrot the code when she brushes us against him, brings her hand to his cheek, her lips to his jaw but she is surprised when he kisses her like something delicate.

**Vagabond**

Suri doesn’t have the strength to resist when they’re thrown in a cell for vagrancy on a planet so desolate it has numbers instead of a name, nor do they feel any pull to question why a republic warship is so willing to provide them such preferential treatment not a month later.

**Double**

It takes an astonishing amount of Master Zhar’s self-control not to broadcast his concern when right after Revan has retrained under him she picks the same two lightsabre colours to rest in the same two hands under the same ambitious smile.

**Broken**

Revan cradles Malak, her life’s work written all over his body, Suri cradles Sion and Traya when they finally allow themselves to rest, neither of them feel like they’ve triumphed over a damn thing.

**Beautiful**

Suri understands completely why Malak looks at her the way he does, they have a harder time when they catch Revan looking back only when he’s turned away from her.

**Honour**

Revan is alone when she kills Mandalore the ultimate, when he reveals to her why all of this had to happen and for a moment, she thinks of burning the entire universe down.

**Boy**

It’s awkward enough when She notices that Alek is in fact a boy, it takes a bit of adjustment when Suri insists they aren’t

**Master**

The… ‘thing’ they encounter doesn’t so much fight her as turn her inside out and cycle through the shapes she’d had to contort herself into to survive the war until it finds the one it sees as most pliable, that’s the part of her it talks to, the part it shows the broad strokes of its plan: its wings stretching out around the stars, blinking all those little lonely lights out until there are only two options for life and one name for it. 

**Beneficiary**

He was by her side through all of it, every time the galaxy disappointed her and she went mad, it’s only when it makes her mad enough to hurt him that he decides now is the time to live life without her. 

**Fastidious**

Revan turns to Kae time and time again: where the other masters are cryptic, she is direct where they obfuscate the truth, to the point she has to dig, Kae brings her to a layer of sand and only asks that she brush it away.

**Workshop**

The irony of a space station that eats starts to make star ships is not lost on any of them.

**Soul**

The only thing that comforted the dark lord Revan as she killed millions and hated her way through the weakness of the bloated, corrupt civilisation in the way of her dream was that it was always her arm holding that lightsabre, turning her friends away, ordering the bombardments, so when the rakata elder tells her that something deep inside her is different she almost collapses. 

**Atmosphere**

From Serroco to Dxun Suri and Revan briefly entertain the idea of just bombing the moon but they know that of all places the mandolorians will allow nothing less than a ground war. 

**Deteriorate**

Malak watches her come to pieces until her mind is practically all that’s left, a mind taught to mould the galaxy through war and what comes after, a mind planning to turn the galaxy from a bloated, stagnant beast into a cornered, traumatised predator only for the hope that it might see tomorrow. 

**Undermine**

Suri watches one of the admirals stand up to Revan’s decision to leave another colony to the mercy of the mandolorians in order to draw their resources from a piece of the war she considers more important, they watch him shrink and walk away with a familiar weight in his walk, they watch Revan’s expression as she decides to doom him.

**Emphasis**

Revan thinks about crushing the mask in her hands after she’s torn it from his suit, but she knows that if the mandolorians are to truly die then they need to have hope.

**Link**

It’s more than hearing them defend themself even after everything they did, it’s how they don’t hesitate to surrender their lightsabre, how the cornerstone receives it as if it’s accepting their decision, it’s how they don’t even try to look at her before they come to stand before the council or after they leave, it’s how she feels like she has some share in the blame, despite how powerless she’s felt for over sixteen years. 

**Miss**

Darth Revan cannot high five to save her life.

**Collapse**

The mandolorian dream, Malachor V, the people’s trust in the jedi, the jedi, the entire sith order again and again and again and again.

**Exposure**

She walks into the crucible Malak’s prepared for them wearing a pale facsimile of the armour she built here once before, sans the mask: the things she admits in that, in her walk… she might as well be naked.

**Exaggerate**

She feels them coming, they don’t try to hide from her, what surprises her is when they call her ‘old friend’ and smile.

**Filter**

Suri and Alek learn to recognise when Revan is no longer able to resist marching into the council chambers and tearing into them for putting another padawan in mortal danger in hopes of teaching them something; neither Revan nor her companions recognise the signs after Juhani runs back to the temple with tears in her eyes.

**Change**

The new jedi take one look at what Brianna and Mical uncover about the ways of their predecessors and proceed to have a veritable war trying to either preserve it for posterity’s sake or finding more and more improbable ways to get it into cannock proximity.

**Module**

T-3 knows he’s just an especially handsome cog in the absurdist drama that is the lives of their warmongering jedi friends he just wishes that the ones he has to be shackled to hadn’t ended up being so… flirtatious.

**Enjoy**

They try to look as put out as possible when they lose to Atton for the first time because his smile burns in the best way possible after so long feeling cold and alone, and Kreia’s abject disappointment rippling through their bond isn’t an unwelcome bonus.

**Structure**

She doesn’t know what compels her to tell Canderous where the mask is, she has plenty of ideas for how to prepare the galaxy barring hostile takeover these days, maybe it’s how old she’s noticed he’s getting, how desperately he clings to his culture even after all this time with her.

**Count**

“No one gets away from Calo Nord in the end.”

“…one,” she replies after a moment.

**Vigorous**

They’re both approaching their second century alive by the time Revan starts wondering if they can ever do enough.

**Distribute**

All three of them wonder Cathar after the mandos have their way with it, Malak keeps their army together, Revan kills her way through plot to siphon the surviving natives into slavery and Suri almost unintentionally draws in another several hundred traumatised avengers to their swelling ranks.

**Stop**

Revan and Malak don’t know how to feel when Atris starts trailing after their best friend but they’re secretly relieved when Suri seems unable to see the shift in her heart rate for what it is.

**Liberty**

Kreia asks Suri once about what it was like to know Revan as a friend as opposed to a student, “like this,” they reply.

**Dog**

Suri has been so severe and downtrodden the entire time Atton has known them so seeing them push over a Boma and scratch its belly until its tongue is lolling out while hearing the phrase “scaly baby, scaly babie!” over and over again is more than a little surreal.

**Long**

Suri glares at the greatest living horror spawned by their terrible choice; their mirror, the greatest tangible threat the galaxy has yet seen, “I refuse to believe you were that tall before Malachor,” they say before they’re torn at. 

**Drain**

Just looking at Nihlus hurts: his eyes are so black they feel like staring at a sky without stars and he is equally repulsed by what he finds when he stares back at theirs.

**Contribution**

They swap stories of all the people they’ve met along the way to get here, Revan thinks of the kind of jedi order Suri has left behind and laughs at the scandalous looks her olds masters would serve them both. 

**Lack**

No one got nearly enough hugs throughout this entire story.

**Pair**

When the Exile finally catches up with Revan they have learned the lesson of leadership and they pull on each other as hard as they push, and combined they are a reckoning even to the machinations of so called ‘true sith.’

**Method**

They both learned things from her: how to leave everything behind, how to pick at the currents of the threads in a galactic spider web, how to turn from strength that was not their own, most importantly however, how to make the most powerful beings look right through your heart without seeing you at all.

**End**

In one life Revan ends up trapped between life and death as she was rendered when Malak betrayed her, as he said he would leave her before she killed him, in another, Suri is carved across their back, forced to watch their only hope go mad, sleep and go mad again, an ignoble end to the unmaker of the sith triumvirate; in this life however they pave the way and pass the torch, leaving the thing that would see all of existence mirror their hollow, eldritch abyssms, convulse in nameless, petulant fury.


End file.
